Prince Harry's Freudian description of his penis is the weirdest thing you'll hear today

People are cringing after hearing the way Prince Harry describes his frostbitten penis in his new memoir, Spare.

The audiobook is read by the Duke himself, making it even more horrifying.

"My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatised", he reads, putting emphasis on his words.

He then goes on to describe how a friend recommended an Elizabeth Arden cream his mum used to use on her lips, on his 'todger' to help it heal.

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